Here comes the A&R kiss of death

I was going to write a first (proper) blog about the industry, but then realised that’s pretty much all I’ve written about for seven years. So I decided to start on a different foot; a more musical foot; a beardy death-krautrock Scottish foot.


There are thousands of albums that I love – but there are only a finite number of albums that can completely subsume you and force you to live within them for weeks/years. Based on my sketchy memories of albums in the past, I reckon this happens every 18-24 months.


The album I can – literally – not stop playing on my ‘leading-brand MP3 player and phone’ and in my head is Checkmate Savage by Phantom Band.


Now I know exactly fuck all about them apart from these facts:

- they are from Scotland

- there are five (and sometimes six) of them

- they are men

- some of them have beards

- they have made the best album I have heard this year and the best album I will hear next year*


Anyway, what do they sound like and why have they beguiled me? They sound a bit like Nick Cave watching Don’t Look Now with Neu! while the Beta Band empty packets of nachos into an upended witch’s hat. Sort of. Kind of. A bit.


You can hear them here, but this is only a taster and is a bit like saying you have won the lottery when you’ve only found a peanut and a 10p coin down the back of the sofa.


Much as I will trumpet them, I’m kind of scared of the repercussions. Pretty much every band I have ever tipped has amounted to a bowl of bollocks all. And most bands I think will never get anywhere become Coldplay.


I have the A& Reverse Midas Touch. If any labels want to employ me, I will happily tell them what bands I think are beyond shite so they can then go on and sign them. It’ll work out well for all of us. (Apart from me having to listen to the aforementioned shite signed acts all over the radio for years.)


So, people, with this in mind, you have probably witnessed the rise and fall of Phantom Band over a mere 400 words. Crivens.


*(When I say it’s the best album of 2008 AND 2009, I mean that I got a review copy in November and it’s not out until January. See?)